Peter Lanza wishes his son Adam had never been born.
The father of the gunman behind the 2012 Sandy Hook school shooting has spoken publicly for the first time since the horrific attack that left 26 dead.
Talking to The New Yorker, Peter Lanza offers a window into his tortured thoughts, feelings, and nightmares, ultimately revealing that he wishes his son Adam, responsible for so many deaths, had never been born.
“That’s not a natural thing, when you’re thinking about your kid. But, God, there’s no question. There can only be one conclusion, when you finally get there.
“That’s fairly recent, too, but that’s totally where I am.”
The piece is an extensive one, and is taken from months of interviews that began taking place last fall. In it, Lanza provides insight into his son Adam’s behavior throughout his childhood, as well as during the two year estrangement prior to Sandy Hook.
As for whether he feels that his son would have killed him had he had the chance, Peter Lanza is chillingly blunt.
“With hindsight, I know Adam would have killed me in a heartbeat, if he’d had the chance. I don’t question that for a minute. The reason he shot Nancy four times was one for each of us: one for Nancy; one for him; one for Ryan; one for me.”
Lanza also acknowledges that he can never separate the memory of his son from his son’s actions on his final day on Earth, and that Adam is like ‘a stranger’ to him. Ultimately, Lanza says, the memories of his son and that day will follow him for the rest of his life.
“It’s not like I ever go an hour when it doesn’t cross my mind.”