Hellooooo, Florida! Just wanted to check in and see what kind of crazy stuff the Insane-shine has been getting up to. (Hint: A Bible, a doughnut and a Walmart are involved.)
Proselytizing tends to go better when you’re fully clothed, but a Bradenton decided to go out and spread the word of God in his birthday suit.
According to the Bradenton Police Department, the naked, bible-toting man was spotted walking down the street around midnight on Sunday. When officers tried to ask him to put on clothes, he took off running. Eventually police detained him and took him in for a psych eval. He was charged with exposure of sexual organs (while toting the Holy Bible).
Earlier in the week a Fort Walton Beach man went to jail over…a .58 cent doughnut. Yep, a doughnut.
William Edward Hicks, 36, was charged with two misdemeanors and a felony after stealing a doughnut from Walmart. According to his arrest report, Hicks took the doughnut from the case and and ambled to the sporting goods department to look at a laser sight. Oh, just cuz. He opened the laser package, but decided not to steal it. Continuing to munch on the doughnut, Hicks exited the store through the garden department.
Things got bad when security confronted him in the parking lot and he took off running. (Are you sensing a theme here?) Doh!
That must have been a damn good doughnut. No report on whether or not it was glazed.
Read more about the nude Bible thumper.
Read more about the world’s dumbest doughnut thief.