Topless Woman Ransacks Florida McDonalds

It’s something you have to see to believe, readers.  A woman wearing only a thong was captured on security video ransacking a McDonalds in St. Petersburg, Florida.  News reports are sketchy on more specific details, but we know from the video that the woman was yelling at management before banging her head on the counter and then tearing into the establishment.  One of the video’s more epic moments has to be when she pauses her rampage just long enough to lean over and partake directly from the soft-serve ice cream machine.  All that before, as is stated in the video, she grabbed some fries and took off.

Some who’ve seen the video have suggested taking this woman’s tirade as a lesson on approaching life..the personification of ‘carpe diem’.  Or, should we say, “Carpe Mickey Diem”.  As Gawker’s Jay Hathaway wrote, “Florida Woman doesn’t play by the rules. She engages on her own terms. She puts her hand under the ice cream dispenser of life and drinks deeply of everything it has to offer, and then grabs a handful of fries for the road.”

The NSFW original video is available at LiveLeak.com.  Below is the video with strategic pixelation put in place.

The woman has yet to be identified, but we’re hoping there’s a story that’s just as epic behind this epic rampage.  If this is a drug-fueled rampage, or a mental break from reality, we all hope she has found the help she needs since this evening.

Dear Florida: we love you.  Never change.

Read more:
Video: Internet abuzz over topless woman who trashed McDonald’s in … St. Petersburg? (Tampa Bay Times)
Topless Florida Woman Wrecks McDonalds, Pauses to Guzzle Ice Cream (Gawker)
Florida woman goes on naked rampage at McDonald’s in viral video (NY Daily News)

  • HERBERT

    she never found that missing powder puff.

  • Smee

    Upset because she didn’t get the special sauce on her hamburger??