Macy’s Shoplifter Tries To Escape By Grabbing Poop From Her Pants, Smearing It On Security Guard’s Face

It’s not uncommon for shoplifters to create a diversion while they try to slip out with their loot, but a Florida thief came up with the crappiest escape plan we’ve ever heard of.

Thirty-two-year-old Marisol Toribio, who tried to steal from a Ft. Lauderdale Macy’s, decided to go for broke when she was cornered by security: She reached in her pants, grabbed a handful of poop, and smeared it on the officer’s face.

[Insert collective squeals of disgust here.]

Needless to say, Toribio’s tactic didn’t work and Coral Springs police charged her with theft, in addition to tampering with or fabricating physical evidence and criminal grossness.

No word on what Marisol was trying to steal from Macy’s, but whatever it was, it wasn’t worth all that.

Read more.

Photo: Local 10

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