In honor of Turkey Day, CrimeFeed has put together the most definitive list of food-related crimes you’ll ever set your tastebuds on. From assault with a frozen steak to arson with bacon, these crimes of meat will leave you both horrified and hungry.
This case of assault with a deli weapon will make you think twice about starting a food fight.
1. Indiana Man Faces Felony Theft Charge for Stealing $1.49 Hot Dog
Don’t get us wrong. Hot dogs are amazing, no doubt. But worth a felony theft charge? No wiener’s worth that.
2. Toothless Man Arrested After Opening and Eating Raw Beef In Walmart
Ewww….we can’t even. He must have thought he was in Wal-Meat.
3. Heavyset Burglar Embarrassingly Falls Down Twice On Camera While Trying To Rob Meat Market
Rule #1 when robbing a joint: Put your pantyhose mask on before walking in front of the security camera, revealing your true identity.
4. Woman Arrested After Beating Her Boyfriend With A Frozen Steak Over Lack of Freezer Space
Pay attention men: Never underestimate a woman’s desire for more freezer space.
5. Half-Naked Woman Steals Pricey Steaks From Grocery Store
We can only imagine what she was thinking. But perhaps she thought putting her naughty bits on display would distract from the meat theft?
6. Attempted Arson Involves Crispi’s Bacon
When your last name is Crispi, aren’t you kind of destined to work with bacon in some capacity? Arson, however, probably wasn’t the wisest choice this criminal could have made.
7. Man Attempts To Smuggle Three Packages of Cocaine Inside Frozen Meat at JFK Airport
Stuffing meat with herbs and spices is delicious, but we don’t think the average Joe is going to grab cocaine from the spice rack anytime soon.
8. Poisonous Meatballs Found On Grounds of Colorado Park, Sickens Three Dogs
Speaking of chemical spices, these delectable meatballs had an extra tasty dash of rat poison.
9. Man Accused of Stealing 300 Pounds of Meat From Salvation Army
You’ve hit a new low when you steal food from the mouths of the hungry, especially delicious pork and beef. There’s a special place in Meat Hell reserved for this guy.
10. Woman Shoots Into McDonald’s Drive-Through Window Over Missing Bacon
Let’s face it. We all get cranky when a fast food restaurant gets our order wrong. This woman, however, went a tad too far with her customer complaint.