Pancakes. So delicious, so buttery, so fluffy. But what about the dark side of flapjacks? In honor of National Pancake Day, we count down four of the most shocking hotcake crimes.
This is what we’re not talking about when we’re talking about griddle cakes…
1) F-Word Doesn’t Stand For Flapjack
In 2014, a New Mexico man was arrested for screaming the F-word in a pancake restaurant. Sadly, we we’re not talking about F as in “flapjacks.” The man in question was dropping F-bombs when a police officer overheard him and promptly arrested him for disorderly conduct. Ultimately, a judge agreed with the man’s defense attorney, dismissing the case and noting:
“We go down a slippery slope when we allow police officers to decide what is and isn’t appropriate behavior. They’re there to decide what’s lawful behavior.”
Regardless of your stance on public profanity, we can all agree that no pancake should be demeaned in this way.
2) Too Much Love For Hotcakes
An Oklahoma man was arrested last year for masturbating at a pancake restaurant. The 51-year-old patron was found in the middle of men’s restroom, naked below the waist and rubbing himself.
Eating pancakes is a joyous event, but getting aroused by a shortstack is where we draw the line on hotcake excitement.
3) Breakfast Dispute Erupts In Violence
The sweet or savory breakfast debate can get heated, but assaulting someone for selecting waffles over pancakes is never OK. An Indiana man allegedly tried to strangle his girlfriend after she rejected the pancakes he made for her.
Reports indicate that the victim told the suspected assailant that she preferred waffles for breakfast before he “became angry” and attacked her. The man was eventually released on $15,000 bond and had no prior convictions.
4) Greed Corrupts A Savory Deal
Our final pancake crime involves an all-you-can-eat policy dispute. A Chicago woman was arrested after becoming enraged and threatening to assault a waitress following an unlimited pancake squabble.
What is there to fight about when it comes to endless flapjacks? Sharing was the sticky issue.
The woman, 27-year-old Natasha West, began swearing and swinging fists when one of the restaurant workers told her she could not split the $4 all-you-can-eat pancakes with a friend. West was arrested on assault and property damage charges.
Read more food-induced crimes here.
Read more: Indy Star
Read more: KOCO
Read more: KRQE