6 Totally Ridiculous Assaults Over Food

Food Crimes

Hunger makes some people act in truly irrational ways. Whether they were livid over missing leftovers or fuming because of how their meal was prepared, these six hangry criminals were driven to violence when someone dared to mess with their meal.

Kristin Michelle Howard

Kristin Michelle Howard [Photo: Flagler County Detention Facility]

Florida Woman Hurls Tea On Mom Following Drunken Fight Over Chicken And Biscuits

According to the Daytona Beach News-Journal, after allegedly coming home drunk one evening back in June 2015, 31-year-old Kristin Michelle Howard decided to make herself a plate of chicken and biscuits. But before Howard could enjoy the late-night sustenance, her mother, 50-year-old Kimberly Miller, accused her of being intoxicated and the pair fought over who actually owned the food Howard was about to consume.

The already-angry Howard went on to punch her mother in the face and throw tea on her. Howard was arrested and charged with domestic battery. There’s still no word on what happened to the chicken and biscuits that started it all. [Daytona Beach News-Journal]

Photo: Pixabay

Photo: Pixabay

Mom Throws Knives At Teenage Son Because He Ate Her Leftover Pork Chops

Back in January 2015, Yolanda Veasley was just trying to get a bunch of meals prepped in advance by cooking and packaging four pork chops for later; unfortunately, her teenage son ate three of them — and then lied about it — which infuriated the Dayton, Ohio, woman.

In fact, she became SO enraged, she started throwing knives at the 15-year-old boy. The teen said his mom had been drinking, but her aim didn’t suffer, because she managed to clip his thumb and cut it open.

Veasley later told police that she started throwing the sharp utensils after her son knocked her down; when police said his behavior didn’t justify the attack – did she tell them about the pork chops?! – she said, “Yeah, you’re right.” The knife-throwing mom was booked on suspicion of felonious assault. [WHIO]

Photo: Pixabay

Photo: Pixabay

Husband Chokes Wife Because She Ate All The Leftover Fried Chicken

In September 2014, a Florida man was charged with felony battery and tampering with a witness after he choked his wife during an argument. The reason the couple was fighting? His wife had allegedly eaten all the leftover fried chicken.

Yup, Desmond Brownlee got downright furious when his wife, Shey Alamo, polished off all the finger-licking leftovers. Then, when he started to make another batch, he became even more irritated when Alamo “criticized his culinary technique.”

That’s when the 45-year-old man allegedly pushed his wife onto a bed, slapped her multiple times in the face and choked her. When the cops arrived, Brownlee said his wife hit him first, but it was eventually revealed that he was the “primary aggressor.” He was charged with tampering with a witness because he snatched away the phone when his wife called 911. [USA Today]

Photo: Athens-Clarke County Police

James De Paola [Photo: Athens-Clarke County Police]

Georgia Man Arrested After Violent Verbal Assault On Wife Over “Too Cheesy” Grilled Cheese

Earlier this month, according to the New York Daily News, Georgia man James De Paola became enraged with his wife Michele De Paola because she made him a grilled cheese sandwich with three slices of cheese instead of the two slices he requested. (Side note: To be very clear, there is no such thing as a “too cheesy” grilled cheese.) De Paola allegedly yelled so forcefully at his wife over the excessive cheesiness of his sandwich that his spit hit her in the face.

De Paola apparently has a history of abusive behavior against his wife, including an arrest and a restraining order. During the incident, the De Paola’s young daughter tried to grab the phone to call 911, but her father stopped her. When Michele tried to call 911 herself, her husband ripped the phone out of the wall. Police were eventually called by the daughter, who snuck into another room and used a cell phone. Michele told the officers that her husband hadn’t been physically abusive toward her in a while, but described his ongoing emotional abuse. James De Paola was charged with obstruction of a 911 call and criminal trespass/damage to property. [New York Daily News]

[Photo: Pinellas County Jail]

Cory Lee Shinkman [Photo: Pinellas County Jail]

Florida Man Assaults Female Relative Over “The Way She Was Cooking Hard-Boiled Eggs”

No doubt, there is a right way and a wrong way to cook an egg to achieve the perfect hard-boiled consistency. And Florida man Cory Lee Shinkman, 23, should probably learn how to do it himself, seeing as he has such strong feelings on the subject that he reportedly assaulted a female cousin because “he did not agree” with her method.

The incident happened back in May 2015 at the St. Petersburg home Shinkman shared with his cousin and a few other relatives. After they argued over the eggs, Shinkman “pushed her against a dresser and scratched her.” He was charged with felony battery and released on a $1,500 bond. [The Smoking Gun]

Photo: Pixabay

Photo: Pixabay

Man Stabs Wife Because She Complained About The Way He Was Peeling Mangoes

Earlier this month, police arrested 84-year-old Uriel Bradshaw for allegedly stabbing his 65-year-old wife after they got into an argument over the way he was peeling mangoes. Apparently, Bradshaw’s wife rightfully became irritated when she saw that he was peeling the fruit and allowing the skin to fall onto the floor. When she told him to stop being so “sloppy,” Bradshaw allegedly flipped out and lunged at her with the steak knife he was using, stabbing her twice. Though the suspect claims he doesn’t remember the incident, his wife does, and he was arrested on charges of aggravated battery with a weapon. [Orlando Sentinel]


  • Sandi McCarthy

    Oh, good lord! I don’t possess the capacity to understand people like this. Are they really that dense that this kind of behavior is an acceptable means to solve something so trivial as a food issue?? There is no helping these kinds of people. Being put away, wherever it may be, is the only way to deal with them. Serious brain shortage onvolved. Put them all together and they might iradicate the problem themselves!!

    • Robin

      I agree with you completely.

  • Carolyn Lee

    oh my gosh , scary old world out there