Shady People In The Sunshine State: Craziest Florida Crimes Of 2016

Charles Easter [Broward County Jail/YouTube (screenshot)]

Some blame the humid weather; others say it’s the bugs or lax bankruptcy laws. Whatever the reason, from financial fraud and felony murder to motorcycle-riding alligators and women shoving contraband inside their vaginas, Florida has long been known as the unofficial capital of bizarre in the U.S.

Related: What The Crime?! Podcast Ep. 1: Why Is Florida So Weird?

Here are a few of the strangest crimes committed by Florida Men and Women that made headlines in 2016:

  • 81-Year-Old Man Cops Plea Following “Shuffleboard Rage” Incident

Herbert Hayden [Photo: Pinellas County Sheriff's Office]

Herbert Hayden [Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office]

For some senior citizens, Florida retirement isn’t so peaceful. Herbert Hayden, 81, entered a no-contest plea to a misdemeanor battery charge filed following a mid-September altercation at a senior citizens center in a St. Petersburg mobile home park. Hayden was arrested after he got into a physical confrontation with James Sutton, a fellow retiree, at the Pinellas Park Senior Center’s open-air shuffleboard pavilion. Police say that a verbal argument turned into a physical altercation when the Black & White Shuffleboard League competition was nearing an end. Hayden reportedly punched Sutton with a shuffleboard cue, causing his victim to suffer two four-inch scratches to his face. Both shuffleboard cues were also damaged during the scuffle. Hayden has been ordered not to come within 500 feet of Sutton’s residence or vehicle, and is barred from calling or texting Sutton — or contacting him via social media. He also must pay $1,000 in fines. [The Smoking Gun]

  • Miami Man’s “Half A Head” Mugshot Goes Viralscreen-shot-2016-12-28-at-10-10-39-am

 

Back in October, Carlos Rodriguez, 31, was busted on charges of attempted murder and arson after police say he poured flammable liquid on a mattress in a duplex owned by his mother and lit it ablaze. What makes this crime remarkable, though, is Rodriguez’s mug shot. As a result of a car accident that removed much of his brain and severely deformed his skull, Carlos Rodriguez now has only “half a head.” He even openly goes by the nickname “Halfy.” His crime headline may eventually be forgotten, but his viral mugshot will live online forever.

Related: Miami Man With “Half A Head” Busted For Arson, Attempted Murder 

Taccara Lasha [Photo: Miami Police Department]

Taccara Lasha Nauden [Miami Police Department]

  • Florida Woman Arrested, Shoves I.D. Inside Vagina 

Police arrested Taccara Lasha Nauden, 28, of Miami, following a hit-and-run incident in early November. A routine background check alerted officers that Nauden had an active warrant out for operating a vehicle without a license, so they arrested her. After Nauden was taken into custody, she told cops that she had shoved her ID inside her vagina. Authorities took Nauden to a nearby hospital where a body scan — and Nauden then exposed her private area while urinating in public. The warrant for operating a vehicle without a license was dropped, but she was charged with exposing a sex organ in public. She told the judge that she had an “overactive bladder,” but he reportedly did not accept this information as an excuse.

Related: Florida Woman Gets Arrested, Shoves I.D. Inside Vagina, Pees In Public

  • The Not-So-Cookie-Cutter Robbery 

In a recent entry in Florida crime, police are on the lookout for a couple of cookie thieves who stole two trailers full of over $60,000 worth of Nabisco products on November 24 from a warehouse in the city of Weston. Security video shows a dark-colored four-door car and two white tractor trucks entering the parking lot, and then the trucks were then hooked onto two trailers and driven away. The dash camera of one of the two trailers captured the face of one of the at least three thieves as he attempted to cover the camera with a cloth. Anyone with information is asked to contact Detective Michael Kravecz at (954) 389-2010. Those wishing to remain anonymous can contact Broward Crime Stoppers at (954) 493-TIPS (8477). Police say tips leading to an arrest are eligible for a reward of up to $3,000. [Sun Sentinel]

Christopher Shows [Photo: Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office]

Christopher Shows [Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office]

  • Florida Man Murdered Woman, Had Sex With Her Body Just For The “Thrill”

One of the most shocking crimes in recent memory was the 21-year-old Florida man who told police he killed a mother of four and then had sex with her dead body — while her two-year-old child was in the home — just for the “thrill” of it. Christopher Shows was arrested for the murder of Amanda Suarez, 21, inside her Okeechobee home on December 7. “Unfortunately, it was no rhyme no reason. He just wanted to know what murder felt like,” the county’s sheriff-elect, Noel Stephen, told WPTV. Police say Suarez recognized Shows, who had been dating her cousin, and let him into her apartment. Shows allegedly made a pass at Suarez, but the Christian mother rejected him. Shows then grabbed a .22-caliber rifle from his truck and shot her in the back as she tried to run out the door. Police say he then dragged his victim into the kitchen, positioned her in the form of a crucifix, and had sex with her body. Shows was booked on a litany of charges that included murder, battery, and desecration of a body.

Related: Florida Man Murdered Mother Of Four, Had Sex With Her Body Just For The Thrill

  • Bikini Man, Performance Artist Busted For Disorderly Conduct 

Police in Fort Lauderdale arrested Charles Easter, 38 (main photos, above), and charged him with disorderly conduct. Easter, who is well-known locally for his roadside performance work, has “HOLLA!” tattooed on his forehead. His criminal career highlights include trespassing, panhandling, drinking in public, and, even though it was not specifically related to his most prominent ink, indecent exposure. Police allege that Easter became unruly while visiting a friend who was being treated in the emergency room at a Fort Lauderdale hospital, and yelled obscenities, according to a complaint affidavit, before throwing coffee on the wall. To score donations from passersby, Easter dresses in a bikini, dances, whistles, gyrates, twerks, and otherwise draws even more attention to himself to the tune of up to amounts (he claims) of up to $1,000 a day.

Related: Bikini Man With Crazy Tattoo Popped For Disorderly Conduct 

  • The “Sorry I Tazed You” Mystery Cake Scandal

In addition to the identity of the man on the grassy knoll and the location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body, armchair sleuths in Florida had a new mystery to ponder: Who really baked the “Sorry I Tased You” cake? The drama started in August when the Pensacola News-Journal reported that Stephanie Byron filed a civil lawsuit in federal court alleging that a former Escambia County deputy discharged a stun gun into her chest and neck without provocation in July of 2015. According to court documents, the deputy, Michael Wohlers, later attempted to apologize by sending Byron a cake with “Sorry I Tased You” written in blue frosting. But some eagle-eyed Internet sleuths found a picture of the same cake online in a picture from 2014 and began to question the cake’s credibility. Finally, Gizmodo reported that two police officers in Barnstable, Massachusetts, Jay Maloney and Katie Ross, emailed the site and claimed that they knew the cake’s real origin story. The officers said Maloney gave Ross the cake after accidentally tazing her during a father-son domestic dispute.

Related: Half-Baked Apology: Who’s Really Responsible For The “Sorry I Tazed You” Cake? 

Micah Norman [Photo: Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office]

Micah Norman [Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office]

  • Florida Man Jailed After Slapping Girlfriend In Face With Sex Toy

A Florida man was sent to jail on a domestic-battery charge after slapping his girlfriend in the face with a sex toy, according to police. Micah Norman, 34, was arrested following a confrontation with his live-in girlfriend at a residence in Madeira Beach. According to a criminal complaint, Norman was arguing with the 29-year-old victim at around 10:20 P.M. when he grabbed her and hit her “in the face with a sex toy.” Norman was charged with domestic battery, a misdemeanor — and a judge has ordered him to have no contact with the victim.

Related: Florida Man Jailed After Assaulting Girlfriend With Sex Toy
12 Crimes That Will Make You Say What The Florida?

Main photos: Charles Easter [Broward County Jail/YouTube (screenshot)] 

  • Russell

    Man WTF kind of people moved into my state??

    • Beng

      Hahaha

  • DeathNote81

    Nothin’ sexier than a forty-year-old white man twerking in a two-piece. : p