PITTSBURGH, PA — A Pennsylvania man who was busted for buying fake Secret Service identification cards and badges in order to impress women on a dating site actually works for a company that scoops up dog poop.
Christopher Diiorio, 54, of Greensburg, was placed on probation for two years and fined $500 by a federal judge in Pittsburgh after pleading guilty in November to fraudulently using an official seal.
The investigation began when Diiorio flashed a Secret Service ID card to an officer who pulled him over for a faulty brake light on July 22, 2016, and told the cop that he was a Secret Service agent who had just returned from the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Upon further investigation, authorities learned that Diiorio’s first and last name actually just happened to match those of a real Secret Service agent who Diiorio has never met.
Diiorio also admitted that one month earlier, he’d used a Secret Service badge to get a government rate for a hotel room.
Assistant U.S. Attorney Paul Hull said that Diiorio would later confess that he bought the IDs and badges for $100 online in 2014 when he also “began to identify himself as a federal agent on online dating sites.” He probably had better luck scoring dates while masquerading as a Secret Service agent than if he’d fessed up about his real job, considering that his actual place of business is called “Doodle Scoopers.”
“Your honor, I’m not a bad man; I’m a dumb man,” Diiorio told U.S. District Judge Nora Barry Fischer. “What I did was truly stupid, and I’m very sorry for that.”
Diilorio’s attorney said he was happy with the sentence, since it will allow his client to continue helping his widowed mother care for his disabled sister and attend counseling to save his marriage. Diiorio’s wife, who was not in court, was another one of the women he met online while pretending to be a Secret Service agent.
Main photo: Smiling Dog [Brandon Weeks (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons]