ENID, OK — An Oklahoma cop got more than he bargained for when he busted a nearly nude motorist for speeding — and found the driver covered in Vaseline and wearing only a thong.
After pulling over the car, a Garfield County Sheriff’s Office deputy approached and spotted a “nearly naked white male driver” behind the wheel, according to a court filing. The driver, John Wayne Kellerman, 54, “had a bikini thong covering his genitals” and had Vaseline “covering his hands, upper and lower body parts,” noted Deputy Sheriff Darryl Beebe. At that point, Beebe also saw an opened jar of Vaseline that was nearly empty and a pornographic magazine in the passenger seat.
Kellerman appeared to be extremely nervous before handing the deputy a Vaseline-streaked ID card as a means of identification. When asked if he had been masturbating while driving, Kellerman said he had — and offered to wipe the Vaseline off the ID card.
For reasons unknown, the deputy refused the offer.
Kellerman was subsequently arrested after a check revealed that his license had been revoked — and, in fact, had not been valid since 1985.
Kellerman has spent most of the past 27 years in state prison on an assortment of charges, including narcotics possession, domestic assault, auto theft, burglary, and escape from confinement. He was arraigned for speeding with a revoked license and freed on $1,000 bond.
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Main photo: John Wayne Kellerman [Garfield County Sheriff]